I wake hopeful each morning, but someone told me that the loss of so many so quickly would throw me into intense grief. I did not believe that one could experience such depth. I have dealt with multitudes of losses. I thought I had this covered and life would go on just like it always has done.
Well alas, I stuffed it and moved on. Little did I know that it would come back to get me harder than it did when I experienced the loss. I was told there would be joy, memories, depression (oh my), anxiety(oh my) anger(yes) and acceptance. All of these will come in waves and there will be triggers that set each of these off and the best way is to just pass through it. Experience each emotion each day and then pass through it. God will make a way.
There are days I want each and every one back. There are days I can't go down to the barn as it is a reminder of what life was like with each of the horses in the barn. There are days I feel the quiet and silence of missing our dog and cat. There are human losses during this time that I have been thinking about. How do you cope? What do you do? I was told to take some time each day and pass through each emotion. I sat down and wrote a couple of tributes to two of our amazing horses. I truly miss them so much.
The pasture is green and there are leaves blowing in the
breeze. It is a warm day for fall. I prepared my heart for a sad ending to this
beautiful day. We were to say goodbye to
two beautiful horses and our old dog.
Lessons learned, life would never be the same without these
two beautiful horses in our lives.
Sonny You were the copper that shined in the
sun. You were the one who carried the
weight when others couldn’t bear the weight.
You were the one who gave us strength when our strength ran out. You were the one that showed the dangers of
ice, snow, thunder, lightning and rain. You were the one that taught us
children are all the same and it is how you respond. You taught us about spirituality, stubbornness,
relationships, love, compassion, leadership, determination, fighting for the love of your life, protecting your
herd mates, role modeling for new horses, peacefulness, working hard with pain,
giving up leadership for the sake of your loving partner, being willing to move
different places as you wanted to be with your owner, showing unconditional love with everyone. You were the rock
and stability that held things together.
You were the one people could go to when life was a struggle. You had a God given talent to understand and
respond to people’s needs. There will
never be another horse like you and I thank God for giving us 16 years with
you.
Sonny
Bo
Bo- You were the most beautiful black horse with flowing
mane and tail. You often had you tail
trimmed as it got so long. g You came to us with lack of luster for life, but
that would soon change as we showed you love and compassion. You carried the children so well. You were so calm and peaceful. Nothing much bothered you. You had so many sensitive feelings. You and Sonny were wonderful together and you
loved to play with Blue. You were
beautiful as you played in the pasture together. You were so happy. The lives that you touched and changed were
countless. You were so depressed when
Blue passed but little did we know that it was going to be your time soon. Bo you taught so many children that even
though life throws you a curve ball with lots of love and affection you could
overcome most anything. We will miss you
and thank you God for giving us this gentle loving beautiful horse.
God will make a way and life will continue with many blessings and memories..
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